“There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.
Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.”
~ Carl Jung ~
I know that some of you will read this title and feel triggered like I am attacking your identity. Let me begin by saying, maybe. I am writing about this because we have been conditioned to respond to the idea of being introverted or extroverted. We have turned these labels into stereotypes that often allow us to make snap judgments of ourselves and others, severely limiting our capabilities. There was a time when these labels helped us understand ourselves and each other but like many things, it feels like the time has come to expand our perspective.
As a pioneering psychologist of the twentieth century, Carl Gustav Jung was one of the first clinicians to introduce the concepts of the introvert and extrovert. These ideas were further expounded upon appearing in personality designation tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Most people I know in the corporate world can quickly rattle off their 4-letter identity. I’m an ENFJ whenever I take this test at work and an ENFP when I take it in a non-work environment. I have tested this multiple times, always with the same results. So, I am an extrovert. I am intuitive. I am connected to my feelings. Sometimes I perceive and other times I judge. Later on, 2 additional letters were added – an “A” for Assertive and a “T” for Turbulent. Great, another label, and of course I am Turbulent, which means I am anxious and a perfectionist. Okay, this is true – or at least it has been at times in my life, and this is a part of my point.
Over time, it was clear that having only 2 Verts was pretty limiting, so Carl identified a third, more blended category. However, the word Ambivert didn’t enter into regular use among psychologists until around the 1940s. So, now we have 3 Verts – quite the expansion, either, or, or both. But at least we had options and there was a way to describe the people who didn’t neatly fit into the “either” or the “or”. Eventually, like many human traits that we attempt to neatly order into definitive boxes the 3 Verts became a spectrum. You might find yourself anywhere along this spectrum, leaning hard in one direction or the other or simply floating somewhere in the middle. Your position will define you and others, regardless of where you see yourself.
So why is this a problem? It is only a problem in its capacity to limit our thinking. Even with the expansion of the third Vert AND the Vert Spectrum, we are leaving out people who defy definition. I think of these people as Otroverts. “Otro” is Spanish for “Other” and I know many people thriving in this space. When I think of well-known people who fit this definition, people like Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Oprah Winfrey, and David Bowie come to mind.
An article I read on psychology.org describes the Verts as fixed personality types. If you’re Intro, you’re Intro, if you’re Extro you’re Extro. But then they came up with Ambi, which suggests that maybe things aren’t so fixed. The article even referenced genetics, which makes it more true that it is unchangeable, right? Except that, according to Dr. Gabor Mate, genetics are not reliable predictors of most diseases, so how much impact do they have on your actual personality? Dr. Mate points to epigenetics, or how life experiences can impact how genes function, as a more reliable indicator of how a person will behave or experience the world.
Again, for me, this all feels self-limiting.
We are all born human with fully expressive capabilities and are conditioned to respond in ways that serve us and meet our needs. This conditioning impacts how we communicate, relate, and learn to express emotions. Many behaviors are developed at such an early stage in our life, typically pre-verbal, that it is easy to understand why these traits would be seen as inherent and unchangeable. There is also a certain comfort in not feeling responsible for how we show up in the world. After all, if it is genetics, then it’s out of our control and not our fault.
But this article isn’t about fault and blame.
Embracing the Ultravert
It’s about integrating all the energy available and becoming wholly empowered. I want to embrace the concept of the ULTRAVERT. Yes. All the VERTS combined and called upon to serve your highest self, as needed, and completely.
I sense the resistance already. “But, Stephanie,” you say, “this is WHO I AM.” I am simply asking you if that is the truth.
So, I “am” an ENFP/J-T. Except for ALL of the times I am NOT. People judge me as extroverted but aren’t with me when I am alone and in love with my private, magical moments. I can be very emotional and expressive, but I am also an ordered thinker and love working with spreadsheets and creating plans. My biggest paradox is that I don’t care about details and I am exceptionally detail oriented.
Like all things, the Verts served a purpose at one time in helping people understand how we respond differently and the same. But I have the sense that the Verts are running their course. What used to be a way to help a person better understand themselves and others has become a way to limit and define. Many people have lost a sense of the true definition of these words and easily lean towards the stereotypes they have become. The stereotypes are rarely accurate or flattering and all too often, many of us are quick to assume them for ourselves.
Recently, someone argued that it was unfair to expect introverts to speak up because they were naturally inclined to stay silent. I responded, explaining that being an introvert didn’t equate to shyness or an inability to speak up. Then I noted several introverted leaders, such as Warren Buffett, Marissa Mayer, and Abraham Lincoln. These are introverts who have all used their voice and influence. That stereotype is inaccurate and damaging when used by others, but exponentially more so when we apply it to ourselves.
So, here’s my declaration of my own personal Ultravertedness. I am simply tired of being subverted by others. Aren’t you?
With joy,
Stephanie
References:
https://www.simplypsychology.org/ambivert.html
https://drgabormate.com/trouble-dna-rat-race/
Dr. Gabor Mate and Steven Mate’s The Myth of Normal – https://a.co/d/9MassZ1
